There is a better way

It’s a question many disabled Americans face everyday: at what point does their own health situation become too heavy a burden for the people around them or, worse, themselves?

I’ve witnessed this at a fast growing clip. Perhaps this is an inevitable conclusion after a long-standing chronic disease. In my case, it’s a quarter century. Tempers and patience wear out, just like joints do. Maybe faster. And there are no drugs to prolong patience. Not yet, anyway.

So when is enough, enough? Even our deepest commitment to love someone will be tested during times (or years) of illness. Years go by and the healthy put up with all the baggage the patient carries, from the physical pain suffered to the altered mindsets from medication to the hours spent agonizing over the disease with doctors.

Best intentions just don’t seem to last in many cases. The patient often doesn’t realize there is a problem until it’s too late. By then, rifts and resentments develop. From that point, it’s hard to reverse time and correct those problems, especially when the disease fails to improve noticeably -- or the more likely scenario, when it gets worse.

Determination to self-sufficiency isn’t the only solution for the patient. See, people have this tendency to do a funny thing. They care about others. So whether the patient can, or can’t, care for himself doesn’t matter. Their loved ones are going to care. Maybe it just is a matter of will. How much can you bear to see someone change from their disability before you just can’t find the same zeal to care about them like you did before?

For some, a bigger problem arises first. A patient’s self-loathing that can surface from having a disability can become a burden too great for some. Even for patients with Christian beliefs. Hey, even the Apostle Paul spoke of his “infirmity” in less than glowing terms. Paul never said what his “infirmity” was. In our individual case, we know exactly what our “infirmity” is. And so does everyone around us. It can – can being the operative word – chip away at our self worth, if we let it. The disease can run our life, if we let it. Physical pain, even when we don’t want to let it exist, does, and for some the pain is enough to submit.

However, the Bible teaches a better way.